Step Up Sister!

BAD NEWS

2012-01-12T20:41:00.001-06:00

I sat on the edge of my bed. The kids were on the bus, Doug was working on his computer downstairs. My freshly brewed coffee with just a touch of Nestle's Peppermint Mocha cream was steaming on the little green table beside my bed. As I lifted the mug and took a sip, the words on the page soaked into my heart, into my soul, into my being:

"Let me prepare you for the day that stretches out before you. I know exactly what this day will contain, whereas you have only vague ideas about it."

Hmmm...my heart skipped a bit of a beat. I don't know what today will bring. I can fill my date book, chalk it up on our family chalkboard and plan ahead, but in reality I have no idea what lies ahead. The thought brought me excitement and fear all in one.

"Amma" Lucy's sweet little voice from the stairs below jolted me out of my devotional time.

"Ok Lord, here we go...you know what today will bring, I do not. My trust is in You."

The subject line just eeked of bad news...actually that was the subject line: "BAD NEWS".

I actually took a moment and opened three other emails before I had the guts to open that one.

It was from my friend Tina and I just knew it wasn't going to be good. She's not the type of person to just throw around that heading without having just cause.

"We received word today that Aunty Jenneba, one of Lucy's caregivers, died last night. She was scheduled to have surgery next week for an ovarian cyst, but developed a fever last night and died. She leaves a son who was to begin college next week and possibly other children."

Yep, the devo nailed it...I had no idea what today would bring.

My heart flooded with emotions. I opened the picture and remembered the day it was taken. It was our final goodbye at the orphanage. Lucy was dressed in her favorite pj's ready to embark on the journey of a lifetime, ready to leave the center and board the plane to America with me. Aunty Jenneba wrapped Lucy in her arms, hugged her and began to cry. I knew she was joyful at the prospect of Lucy's new life and yet she grieved over the loss of the little one she had cared for every day since her arrival at the center. On that day, in that moment, my heart and mind wondered "why me?" Why had God chosen me?

Again today, I come to that place. "Why me?" Why do I get to live in America, with open hospitals and qualified doctors? Why do I get so much when so many others get so little? Why does a woman like Jenneba, who has the same deep, embedded faith in our Savior die from a preventable disorder, and yet I get to live? "Why me Lord? Why me?"

Today when the news came, my heart was hurt. I cried out for her children, now also left to be known as "orphans". I cried out for our children, those at the center whom she loved and cared for. I cried out for her co-workers. Women of faith who despite having an abiding love in our Lord, must be wondering when God will hear their cries and send someone to help. I simply cried.

You see, this woman...AUNTY JENNEBA...well, she bathed my baby. She fed her and clothed her. She did all the things that today God has allowed me to do. It's just emails like the one about Jenneba...someone I have hugged, someone who cared for my baby girl, someone who cried out in grief knowing that Lucy was going to a better place but missing her in her heart before we even left the center...well, when I hear she has died due to something as simple as a cyst...it just hits me all over again.

And this my friends... this is why I fight. This is why I will never let the country or the people of Sierra Leone leave my heart. This is why I have become known as the "woman who won't stop talking about Africa".

This is why ... because Aunty Jenneba...well, Aunty Jenneba...she was our sister!

"Let me prepare you for the day that stretches out before you. I know exactly what this day will contain, whereas you have only vague ideas about it."

Exodus 33:14

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Twenty -Twelve

2011-12-31T20:31:00.000-06:00

20-12

Twenty Twelve

Two thousand twelve

2012

This is it. Here we go. Another new year.
The first verse that comes to mind is a verse from Jeremiah:

^"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Love that verse.
A new year.
A fresh start.
New beginning.
Plans to prosper.

But then tonight as I sit drinking my decaf peppermint mocha, a different verse comes to mind.

twenty twelve

Revelation...

"And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened.

Another book was opened, which is the book of life.

The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books."

Revelation 20:12

So, my sisters, I have to ask you -

What are you gonna do this year...
                            in twenty twelve...
                                 what will be written in the book?

Accept Christ?
Accept your neighbor?
    Your sister?
    Your marriage?
    Your weight?

What will the resolution be?

Will you resolve to run more and spend less?
   to pray more and nag less?
                         to dream more and fret less?
                         to dive in more and dread less?

The BOOK OF LIFE my sisters...what will we write in it this year?
        Let it begin with your testimony of knowing my Savior!

It is my prayer today, that each of you, know my Savior...my Lord...my Jesus...and that you might start this day...and every day....with Him!

Disability? OR NOT?

2011-10-28T11:01:00.001-05:00

This morning I received this picture in my inbox:

And then a bit later, I received this one of her at the heater vent:

And both made my heart smile!

How could I not run home for lunch to see this little miracle?

Upon arrival, I noticed that a book we had ordered on sign language arrived so Lucy and I sat down and began to learn and practice signs together:

"Mama"
"Dada"
"Nana"
"Grandpa"
"Sissy"
"Brother"

On it went. Looking at the book, trying the sign and Lucy soaking up every minute.

Eventually Doug wandered in and he commented on the fact that Lucy can not turn her wrists or forearms like we can. When you go to give her soap in her hand, you have to physically turn her hand to get her arm to be palm up. So, we started to doing this to her. Turning her hands, trying to get her to straighten out her arms and twist her wrist.

Of course, before long Lucy was giggling like crazy and Doug and I were both smiling ear to ear.
I leaned in, kissed Lucy on the forehead, and said, "I love you!"

With all my heart I meant this. Here sits this little girl, with characteristics that many would call disabilities.
Abnormalities.
Disorders.
Faults.
Non-normal, atypical behavior.

And yet, I LOVE HER!

I do. More than words can express.
More than the faults on the outside.
More than the world's perception of her...

I LOVE HER! And to me, there is no disability. There is no abnormality. There is no fault.

There is just Lucy!

And then I said to Doug, "This has a blog post in it!"

You see, this is how we are to God.
We have faults. Insecurities. Abnormalities. Fears.
But He sees us as a BEAUTIFUL CREATION! As HIS creation! Created not to be kept full of faults and weaknesses and abnormalities...but created in HIS LIKENESS...to be BEAUTIFUL and FULL and LOVELY.
HE looks down on our weakness, our abnormality, our fears, our disability and says,

"COME TO ME!" and "IN ME YOU ARE MADE WHOLE!"

Ah...I love Lucy and what she is allowing us to glean about God!!!

9:59

2011-10-18T22:19:00.004-05:00

Some weird things have been happening lately.
Not weird like plates falling off the shelves or doors closing without warning - that's movie type weird.

Weird like feeling such a heavy burden in my heart for the orphanage that I stop everything, mid getting dressed and ready for work, and just drop to my knees and pray for 15 minutes.

Weird like having a huge burden for a girl and a few days later having the sheer joy of leading her to the Lord.

Weird like praying for a friend, for a situation that within our eyes looked absolutely finished, closed - and then finding out that in fact there was an opening!

Just weird...

And then tonight...

Tonight I sat here wanting to blog. Wanting to get back into the mode of writing, recording thoughts, sharing daily life and reaching out to others.

But...total blank. Nothing coming. No thoughts to put down. No wonderous revelation.

And I looked at the clock and it said, "9:59".

9:59
9:59 p.m.

Hmm...I grabbed my Bible and wondered, "What could be written in every 9th chapter, 59th verse?"

Genesis...nothing
Exodus...nope, no 9:59
Leviticus: blank
Numbers...none there either

And so it went, on down the line...following my new silver and white Bible tabs...

searching, looking...chapter 9, verse 59...

nothing!
nothing!
nothing!

"Ok, maybe I am crazy. Maybe God wasn't using the clock to grab my attention."

But on I went...
Matthew...
Mark...
Luke...

and then...

John 9:59
"He said to another man, 'Follow me!' But the man replied, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father!"

HOLY SMOKES! (sorry if that is a replacement word, but wow!")

WEIRD...

You see, Christ is speaking here. Literally in the red letters in the Bible to the man, and literally to ME!

"FOLLOW ME!"
Right now Jen!
Don't get caught up in grief over your father! Don't cling to the idea that you will follow once your kids are older, or once your finances are better, or once you're more settled in your career.

DO IT NOW!
Follow me now!
Don't delay. Don't hesitate. Don't stall!
Just follow!

John 9:59

The only chapter 9, verse 59 in the entire Bible!

Now that's a message!

Sticker Lady

2011-09-26T20:58:00.003-05:00

There is a lady at our Walmart who greets me at the door. (Disclaimer: the picture is not of this lady. I stole it from google images!) I am guessing she is about 80 years old and her sole job appears to be to stand at the front entrance, ready with a large roll of stickers in hand to give to the children. Almost every time I enter Walmart, she is there, sticker in hand, ready to ask Lucy if she wants a sticker.

One of the first times I entered with Lucy, she was a bit nervous about the elderly lady in the blue vest. The look of, "Mamma, who is this woman coming at me with a yellow circle thing" took over Lucy's face and eyes. I assured Lucy the woman was fine, but Lucy wasn't buying it. Tears ensued and needless to say the woman was stopped cold before ever getting the sticker on Lucy's bib.

Well, since that day, there have been numerous trips to Walmart. Too many to count really. And..Lucy has slowly gained a fondness of the lady. She now looks up at her and actually appears to straighten up a bit, readying herself for the sticker placing on her bib.

But you see, I have actually become a bit cold to the sticker lady. I tend to have a mindset of "get in and get out" when it comes to Walmart. Now, the mindset never really works because I always end up lost in the candy aisle, or the hair product aisle, or the rows of potatoe chips and Doritos. But I do at least try to enter with the "hurry in, hurry out" mindset.

So you see...sticker lady...is a nuisance. She takes up time. She stops us and moves slowly over to give us the sticker, that eventually falls to the ground or ends up covered in drool and has to be removed by me...drool and all. So, while Lucy is loving the sticker lady...I am dreading her as we enter.

Tonight I must admit I even tried to dodge the sticker lady. I thought, "Ok, I will put Lucy in and make a bee line for the 95 oz tub of goldfish I see to the left of me." Yes...that is what I will do. And, while I may spend an additional $5.98 I will not be slowed down by the sticker!

It didn't work. She found us. Right there by the Goldfish boxes.

But then it hit me. Right between the eyes as God usually does! Tonight as we sat at the supper table, Doug noticed Lucy's sticker. "OH...Lucy...did you get a sticker?" And Lucy's eyes lit up! "Well, yes Daddy, I went to Walmart with Mommy and of course the sticker lady gave me a sticker." Ok..she would have said that if she could say that!

And as I saw the smile in my daughter's face, I thought to myself...

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME!

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME!

I see her at least three times a week. I let her touch my child. She offers me nothing but a smile. And, she probably wears a name tag...

BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME!

I am too busy. Too stressed. Too hurried to even bother.

What blessing am I missing?
I will find out...this week...I will find out her name. I will find out her story. I will find out what blessing might be waiting to greet me at the Walmart doors!!!!

To be continued....

Watch and Pray!

2011-09-18T21:39:00.001-05:00

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

These are Jesus' words to his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane. He has just found them asleep after he had been praying with all his might and will to God.

When I first read this passage in Mark 14 tonight, I thought, "Oh seriously...men!" I mean leave it to them to fall asleep not once but three times! Three times!! Literally three times Jesus comes to them and says, "Yo Dudes...I am sortof going through something here...could ya at least stay awake with me!??"

Yep, that was my initial judgemental thought. The thought that these disciples were just plain bums. Typical male...fall asleep anywhere, anytime.

And then, God whispered..."Are you awake?"

Hmm...yep. Sure am God. Wide awake...which I must say is pretty good for me considering it is 9:30 p.m.!!

Again, "Are you sure you are awake?"

"ummm...yeahhhhh...wide awake here. Reading the word. Awake as can be."

And once more, '"How awake are you?"

Ok...third time is the charm (back in Bible days and today!)

God is wanting to know if I am truly awake to what is going on around me. Am I in tune with the needs of my family? With the needs of my neighbors? With the needs of my workplace? Community? World?

Am I awake to the will of my Lord? Am I awake to His purpose? To His plan? To His cry through the people around me?

zzzzzzz....

Must admit, just like the disciples, I needed this wake up call tonight.

Get up!
"WATCH and PRAY my sisters!"
"WATCH and PRAY!"

Dear Lord,
Help me not to fall asleep to the work you want to accomplish in and through me. Help me to remain focused and alive for you. Help me to not drift off, asleep to those around me. Remind me Lord to watch and pray, to realize the hour that is at hand. Thank you Lord for turning on my alarm tonight!"

Our God

2011-08-21T18:32:00.000-05:00

I love Chris Tomlin. I saw him in concert several years back and have been a fan ever since. His songs just seem to pierce me. I find myself in the car, singing at the top of my lungs like I am a rock star...no care in the world, just lifting my voice to the heavens.

But you see...this song..."OUR GOD"...well, it began to strike a nerve with me.

You see...it says that nothing can stand against our God.
It says that our God is awesome in power.

He is greater.
He is stronger.
He is healer.

But my dad died!
He wasn't healed.
We believed.
We prayed over him.
We stood firm on the word of God.
On His promise.

And he died.

So like many days the past few months, today as I stood in church, singing this song, the tears came.

I lifted my voice and I sang to my Lord...

You are greater.
You are stronger.

and then...then...the words I couldn't sing until today...

YOU ARE HEALER!

Because today...today it hit me. Something I knew. Something I trust in. Something that isn't just coming out of nowhere...but something I needed to feel today...

MY DAD WAS HEALED!

His life before Christ.... sin.... filth.... failure... unrepentance... anger... lust... defeat....

August 15th, 1986 .... His life with Christ begins...

LOVE
REDEMPTION
FORGIVENESS
GENEROSITY
JOY
PEACE
and

HEALING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is greater. He is stronger. He is above all else! He is HEALER!

OUR GOD!

So, my dear friends...the question today is: HAVE YOU BEEN HEALED?

Have you taken that time in your life to tell Christ you need healing. He already knows it. He's just waiting for you to acknowledge it. He just wants you to repent. To change from the ways of the world to the ways of HIM! Do it today my friends. Do it today...OUR GOD! HEALER!

and we couldn't forget Zach...

2011-07-23T18:42:00.000-05:00

Zach graduated from Central College with a degree in Elementary P.E. He was with me when we brought Lucy home from Africa...an unforgettable trip for all! Zach is back in Minnesota for the summer and looking for jobs. We are hoping the one in Pella pans out cuz Lucy would love some more naps with him!

Family Updates

2011-07-23T17:53:00.000-05:00

Kobe

He has spent his summer playing basketball in the gym. He will be playing in a tournament with some friends mid August in Minnesota. We will take the family because he gets to play in the Target Center and then attend a WNBA Minnesota Lynx game. He LOVES, LOVES, LOVES Lucy...puts her to bed, helps babysit, gets her milk...everything but diaper changes!!!

Luke

Luke's team won the county tournament in baseball this year. He also played on a traveling team and really improved as the season went on. He also ran a 5k at the Breda Fourth of July Celebration this year! Luke LOVES Lucy! We have a video of him at the orphanage in March where he wouldn't even touch her due to the amount of drool she had....total transformation for Luke!

Faith

Faith decided not to do sports this summer but she has been dancing up in her room, choreographing dances to her favorite songs. She is working on a dance for Picking Violets' song to send to her favorite singers, Erica and Kelly! She ran the 5k with me in Breda too...our first one and we plan on making it an annual event! Faith also LOVES Lucy and is a HUGE help!

Sam

Sam has been playing basketball with Kingdom Hoops all summer. He is in St. Louis and then finishes out the summer in Kansas City next weekend. He also loves Lucy but is no where near diaper changes!!!

Lucy

Wow...what an amazing transition she has had! Sometimes we wonder if we are making much progress...just Satan trying to creep in...but then there are these reminders...

she can walk without falling over every two steps
she can feed herself completely and get more than 90% of it in her mouth
she can step up on the step stool to brush her own teeth
she says "mama" and "dada"
she knows about 20 signs from Baby Sign
she can almost do a somersault
she knows where her bibs, clothes, shoes, food, toys, bed all are and asks for each of them when she wants it
she cries when I leave! :)

The Lord is so good! Sometimes I wonder why He chose us to live this life. There are days when I question whether I can really clean up another mess of mac and cheese, or respond to "Mama" for the nineteenth time before 9 a.m., but God's faithfulness amazes us!

"...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!"

Joshua 24:15

Joshua

2011-07-20T22:37:00.000-05:00

Thirteen times.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13

Thirteen times.

Can you imagine doing something 13 times before you see the result?

13 times of grilling a hot dog on the grill before it gets done.
13 times of turning on the TV before it actually turns on.
13 times of telling your kids to pick up their toys (ok, well maybe that one we can actually envision!)
13 times of turning your car's steering wheel to the left before it actually turns.

13 prayers to heaven
13 cries out to the Lord

Thirteen times.

The Israelites had to march around the city of Jericho 13 times before the wall fell and they took the city. I can just see poor Joshua if it were me and my family he was leading around the wall...

"Alright, seriously Joshua...are you SURE God said 13?"
"I'm hot...how many more laps?"
"Can I get wifi here while we walk?"

We are an impatient people.
We want immediate results.
We want easy access.

"I mean seriously God...you are the God of all right? You are almighty, all powerful...13 times? Couldn't you just rip the wall down in your might and power and save us the blisters on our feet?"

WHY DID GOD MAKE THEM WALK 13 TIMES?

That's the question I asked the kids today in our nightly devotional. Why didn't he just tear the wall down?

"To see if they would be faithful" said one of our children.
"So the people would see them" said another.
"I have no idea" said a third.

I love these responses!

Sometimes we don't understand God's plan.
We don't see the final outcome.
We don't know why we have to make the trek...

but maybe... just maybe.... it is because....

- He wants to see if we will be faithful.
or
- He wants others to see His glory through our path to the end.
or
- He just doesn't want to reveal the answer quite yet.

We ended our devo with the verse hanging on our kitchen:

Joshua 24:15

"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!"

Even when we don't understand His ways,
His plan,
or His purpose...

WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!

A penny for heaven...

2011-07-17T15:55:00.000-05:00

She carried her little coin purse with her today.

It was in her hand, alongside her purple bible.

It sat on her lap as we began service.

And when the song began, she opened it up and pulled out a penny.

A single coin.

The lowest value.

One cent.

She walked right over to Lucy who was sitting on my lap.

Ever so gently she opened Lucy's fingers and placed that penny in her hand.

"Put this in the offering Lucy!" she whispered.

The tears started to well up in my eyes.

My little eight year old.

A heart sold out for Jesus.

But, the story doesn't end there.

She walked back to her seat, sat down, straightened her dress.

Purse still open, she pulled out a handful of more pennies.

And when that offering plate came around, she dropped them all in.

'Nuff said....

Mark 12:44

"For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on."

There's a city to serve...

2011-07-10T22:51:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day.

Zach stopped by to spend the night with us so the kids were super excited.
Luke is enjoying time with his Nana.
I got a few minutes to catch up with a close friend.
Lucy and I planted some flowers together (Ok, I planted, she yelled "AmmA" repeatedly because she didn't want to step across the extension cord Doug has running from the fountain to the basement) Yes, that topic makes for an entirely different blog post!

At any rate, today was a good day.

By evening though, I was tired. I was sitting on the couch, almost had Lucy to sleep and the kids came barreling in, getting her all wound up. Kobe smelled because he had played baseball and tennis ball and hadn't showered. Faith smelled because she had played outside rollerblading and going through the sprinkler. And they were clamoring all over me trying to get a touch of their little sister.

I needed to get out.

I put on my running shoes and told Doug I would be back after a short jog.

You see, it's what I do. When the feeling of grief or being overwhelmed starts to settle in, I take off for a quiet run through the cemetery a few blocks from our house.

But my dad just died. And I haven't run through the cemetery since. It doesn't really make sense because my dad was cremated, so we didn't even go to a cemetery for his service. But, I just hadn't been able to go on my normal route yet.

But, tonight I did. I headed out, ipod in hand, shoes laced up, heart already racing at the thought of having 20 minutes alone with my thoughts.

And the run was good. It felt right. Until I hit the veterans memorial at the top of the hill. The tears started to well up. I could feel the wave coming over the horizon. The wave of grief, of self-pity, of being so overwhelmed you feel like you are drowning.

But then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.

A red cardinal.
Sitting on a headstone.
And there it sat until I had passed by.
And then, as quickly as it came, it flew away.

You see, when my dad was in his last hours of life, his sister shared some special time alone with him and she mentioned to him that when he got to heaven he should send her a red cardinal as a sign. Well, my family sort of laughed about this. But since that day, I have seen more red cardinals (or at least noticed them) more than any other bird!

And that red cardinal was just what I needed.
It stopped the wave in its track.
No grief.
No sorrow.
No tears.
Not today.

You see, my dad, a born-again follower of Jesus Christ, is sitting with HIM right now. He is with a multitude of angels. He is witnessing the river of life, the streets of gold, no tears, no death, no sorrow. He is with people of every tribe and every nation! He is with our LORD!

And then tonight, as I was reading Beth Moore's blog, she was writing about leaving her church family of many years to go with her daughter and son-in-law to plant a new church. Her heart was grieving the loss of the church family she had spent so much time with, but she ended with these words:

As I folded up clothes this morning and put them in a bag and made a plan to run by Walmart, I thought to myself, “Well, old girl, there’s not a lot of time to sit around and mourn. Hop up and get on this love train. There’s a city to serve.”

There's a city to serve my sisters!

A city to serve!

We don't have time for mourning.

We don't have time for self-pity, or doubt, or frustration.

There's a city to serve...step up sisters!

Oh Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for this breath you have given me. I thank you for being in every single detail of my life. I thank you for the reminder that time is short, that people are in need, that you have equipped me to do something...even something as small as sharing a plate of cookies and a bible verse...Lord...help me to serve your city! Help me to see past myself, to see the needs of others, so that they might see YOU in me!!!

No Big Calling...

2011-07-09T23:47:00.000-05:00

Katie Davis, founder of Amazima International writes:

"People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him."

I can so relate to this quote.

Just today, as has been the case quite often since bringing Lucy home to live with us, I was told by someone, "Wow...what a blessing you are to her."

Sometimes it is that phrase...

other times it is:

"Oh they are so lucky to have you as a family!"

"Wow...it must be so difficult to do that."

"I could never do what you and Doug are doing."

"I just don't feel called to adopt or to bring a child to my home."

"Wow...you will have a great reward in heaven."

"Weren't you nervous about bringing her home? I don't think I could do that."

You see...tonight, as I sit on the computer at 11:29 p.m. I needed to read that quote by Katie Davis. I needed to know there was someone else who could relate to what I have been feeling.

I am no more brave than anyone else.

I am fearful and afraid.
I wonder what the next year will bring for a 17 year old who came to America hoping to play at the University of Kentucky.

I wonder if our sweet Lucy will ever speak a word other than Mama or Dada.

I wonder how long the hospital will continue her treatments.

I get frustrated and tired and worn out.

I get nervous and anxious and concerned.

As Katie Davis reminds us...I am not really doing anything spectacular.

My days consist of driving to doctor appointments, driving to basketball practice, cleaning up mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese, squeezing in some internet time, and singing bed time songs.

Nothing extra ordinary...

just obedience.

I am simply obeying God.

You see, it's really just saying YES!

Saying yes to a little nudge in our hearts.

This look of a girl, whom we had never met, that I saw on a computer screen. This simple conversation with a man and his wife who were sold out for Ghana.

No big calling.

No blaring lights saying, "I AM CALLING YOU TO THIS!"

Just a nudge...the Holy Spirit...and I am more and more convinced that we miss the blessings because we keep looking for the BIG CALLING when we should simply be listening for the nudge.

What's the nudge sisters? You all have one...maybe it is the nudge to truly accept Christ as your savior? Maybe it is the nudge that has been lingering for some time. Maybe it is only just hit you as you read this post. STEP UP SISTERS! Say "yes" to the nudge...don't miss the blessings!

Thieves!

2011-07-08T08:02:00.001-05:00

I was reading a story online about a robber who walked into a bank, slid a note to a teller and walked out with thousands and thousands of dollars. He simply woke up that morning, walked in and robbed them!

There are other stories out there too....

teenagers rob a convenience store
a little girl steals from Target
two men beat up and then steal from an elderly 85 year old woman

I remember when I was teaching and a little girl in my class stole some stickers from another student. She wouldn't fess up so we had to sit and wait. The entire class had no recess until the thief was found out. She didn't want to confess. She didn't want to be known as the one who stole.

THEFT. ROBBERY. TAKING WHAT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU.

I read those stories and think, "Well, I would NEVER do that!" or "That is so bold and so incredibly wrong!"

I mean beating up a little old grandma just to get money!

In Malachi 3:9 God tells the descendants of Jacob that they are cursed because they are thieves! They are CURSED because they are thieves!!!

Well, how could they? Whom are they robbing? Ouch....CURSED!

"You are under a curse- the whole nation- because you are robbing me! In tithes and offerings!"

EEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!

Conviction!

They are not giving their first to the Lord. They are robbing God by taking what is not theirs. God's word is clear that our first fruits belong to HIM! And here, in this verse, He reminds us that we too are thieves! We too steal. And worse than anything...we steal from HIM!

So sisters...ask yourself the hard question...are you giving the Lord your full tithe and offering?

Every month?
Consistently?
With joy?
Without hesitation?

Guess what...the story gets better....

God goes on to tell the people that if they would just honor him in this, He will remove the curse and BLESS THEM ABUNDANTLY!

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it!"

Malachi 3:10

SO MUCH BLESSING THAT WE WILL NOT HAVE ROOM ENOUGH FOR IT!!!!!!

Did you get that my sisters?

I know in my life I have seen this verse come alive. When I give my first fruits, without hesitation....when I get my paycheck and immediately give a portion to the Lord's work...then, my storehouse fills abundantly!

Just this month I have been a witness to this verse.

I was paid. I gave my tithe. I waited.

A check came in the mail that was 100% more than my tithe....with the note attached saying, "Use this how you wish for Lucy. We have been moved by the Holy Spirit in seeing her here."

A second check came with the note, "This is for Lucy. Papa would have wanted her to have it."

And an email came saying, "This year we will plant a field of sweet corn and call it 'Lucy's field'. The profits from the sale of the corn will go toward the care of Lucy!"

TEST HIM IN THIS my sisters!

Dear Lord, I pray that I not become a thief. I pray that my greed, my insecurity, my want does not cause me to rob from you the first fruits you so deserve. Every penny Lord comes from you. Let me be reminded to give just the first to you...that's all you ask. I pray Lord that you then bless us abundantly...not so I can buy more or eat more or have more...but so I can in return give more and further glorify you!

Had Been with Jesus!

2011-06-30T09:24:00.000-05:00

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."

Acts 4:13

OK...sisters...this has to be one of the COOLEST verses in the Bible! I mean read this!!! The people, the ruling people, the people trying to get Peter and John on charges, the ones who had put them in jail for the night because they healed a man...

THEY SAW THEIR COURAGE!

COURAGE!

Courage to do what you might ask?

Courage to share Christ!
Courage to stand on His word!
Courage to say, "In the name of Jesus of Nazareth you are healed!"

COURAGE!

And THEY KNEW THEY MUST HAVE BEEN WITH JESUS!!!

Oh man...I get goosebumps just reading it! I've read it like seventeen times since last night!!

THEY KNEW THEY MUST HAVE BEEN WITH JESUS!

TIME WITH JESUS!
TIME WITH OUR SAVIOR!
TIME HEARING WHAT HE SAYS!
TIME BELIEVING WHAT HE SAYS!

TIME WITH JESUS!

Have you had it lately?

Real time with Him?
Time just soaking in His word?
Just soaking in His presence? (You know he is alive and active right? You know there is this little thing called the Holy Spirit that will guide you and comfort you?)

TIME WITH JESUS!

And others....your neighbors, your co-workers, your family, your husband...will say....

"HAVE YOU BEEN WITH JESUS my friend?"

Something different about you.
Something more peaceful.
Something more secure.
Something more giving.
Something more COURAGEOUS....

TIME WITH JESUS!

Oh Lord...thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for drawing me back into your word last night...into deep, deep conversation and listening with you. Thank you for the goosebumps I have over the time with you! Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Might I be courageous today...might I have the courage to respond to wordly problems with heavenly action. Might I have the courage to give til it hurts, til I feel it. Might I have the courage to stand on your promises and not be seduced by Satan. Oh Lord, might otherse see me and know I have spent TIME WITH YOU!

"You are worthy our God to recieve glory and honor!"

Revelation 4:11a

The little things in life...

2011-06-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

There are some things in life that are soooo little but just SOOO BIG all at the same time...

My husband taking Lucy to occupational therapy today so I could have a few minutes with only three children in the house!

My sister rearranging just the hutch in my kitchen but enough to spur me into action outside where some cleaning was needed!

Faith getting Lucy dressed in the morning so I can read my devo and gulp down some coffee!

The picture of my 12 year old learning to fish with his uncle and cousin!

A friend door bell ding-donging us with ding-dong snacks and seeing the smiles on my kids' faces.

A seventeen year old emptying the dishwasher without being asked.

A friend from way back sending at Target gift card in the mail...she just gets me!!!

A mama and papa bird sitting in the nest on our porch protecting their babes...even though they swoop at me every time I want to go out there!!!

A little girl eating ice cream for what may be the first time and asking to drink the melted part!

    soooo little.....

       but.....................
           SO BIG!

"I thank my God every time I think of you!

Philippians 1:3

Helicopters

2011-06-27T09:15:00.000-05:00

I remember playing sports when I was little. We played little league softball with all the other girls in town. We would grab our gloves and a baseball hat and run down to the field. We spent hours there with our coaches until our parents showed up just before the first pitch.

I remember seeing my mom sit on the bleachers with the other moms, talking about local small town news, sharing new recipes, not really paying much attention to the game at hand. I don't ever remember her bringing me a gatorade. I don't remember her yelling at me to make a good throw or to widen my stance or to shake off a bad swing. She was more interested in her friends than in my play.

And at the end of the game, she would say, "Did you have fun?"

You see, it's not that my mom and dad didn't care, it's just that they didn't hover. They had perspective. They knew that this was simply little league baseball. No contracts coming out of it. No agents lurking by the dugout. Simply small town fun on a summer evening.

Something has changed. Somewhere along the line, parents have begun to hover. As much as I try not to fall into the societal trap, I am guilty as well. I carry my son's bag for him. I buy him a Gatorade for every game. I ask if he needs sunflower seeds or Big League Chew bubble gum. I try not to hover, but the pull is great.

It saddens me. It brings pressure to our kids. It causes dissention among parents when someone feels left out. Parent behavior looks bad.

But today, today I read a story in the Bible of a mother who struggled with the same behavior.

She was one of the first helicopter parents....hovering where she ought not go.

And guess what...it brought horrible results to her family!

God had told Rebekah that her second born twin would receive the blessing...

"To Rebecca, also, a promise was made that took priority over genetics. When she became pregnant by our one-of-a-kind ancestor, Isaac, and her babies were still innocent in the womb—incapable of good or bad—she received a special assurance from God. What God did in this case made it perfectly plain that his purpose is not a hit-or-miss thing dependent on what we do or don't do, but a sure thing determined by his decision, flowing steadily from his initiative. God told Rebecca, "The firstborn of your twins will take second place."

Romans 9:10-13

But she didn't stand on that promise.
She hovered...

You see Rebekah, when she didn't see things going as she had hoped for her son Jacob, decided to take matters into her own hands.

She devised a plan.
She schemed.
She lured him in.
She couldn't let a boy be a boy and let the matter go.

Rebekah went as far as to say to her son, who at this point in the scheme was beginning to get nervous, "Let the curse fall on me!"

And, it did!

You see, my sisters, while God wants us to protect our children, He never intended for us to hover over them. He never intended for us to sin in order to provide a perfect world for them. God has a well ordained plan for their lives.

So...back to baseball, or basketball, or music, or dance...or simply life in our own home...

God does not want us to live life for our children, protecting them at all costs, hovering to make sure their every need is met.

Failure produces perseverence.
Defeat produces opportunities for character.
Lack produces creativity of resources.
Tears can produce joy out of the sorrow.

Dear Lord, Guide me as I parent my children. Guide my words. Let every word, every action, every thought be reflective of you God. Help me go to you in times when I am uncertain of outcomes. Help me not to simply jump in and try to solve things as Rebekah did. Help me to see that sorrow and pain and loss can build character in my children. Help me to not hover!

Paper towels & Cover-up

2011-06-25T21:32:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about paper towels and cover up stick.

I know...weird brain!

It's just that lately I have been using a LOT of both of those products!

Clean up spilled milk.
Clean up noodles on the floor.
Clean up drool from a little 4 year old.
"Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share!"

And, well, paper towels are the easiest method.

You see...huge mess on the floor...

and "Whala" (ok...not really sure at all how to spell that word, but you get my drift)

MESS IS GONE!

And then, my sisters, there is this little thing called age 40.
All of the sudden all those years lifeguarding at the Breda Swimming Pool appear to be popping up on my face!
Sunspot on the nose. Sunspot on the cheek. Sunspot on the forehead.
Pimple on the chin.
And, yes, even ringworm from Africa!
40!!! Yikes.

Lots and lots of cover-up!

I asked my sister "At what point is it no longer considered cover-up? But rather foundation?"

But once again, "Whala" MESS IS GONE!

So, I was thinking...

Sometimes I think we expect God to be our papertowel and our cover-up.
Sometimes we just want to spend hours at the pool and then tell God to clean up our sunspots.
We want to spill the milk and have God clean up the mess.

Too figurative for ya all?
Ok...how about this...

We want to use harsh words with our hubby and then have God transform him.
We want to ignore our children so we can have time on the computer or phone, and then ask God to change their hearts!
We want to spend like crazy at Target but then pray for prosperty.

Do I need to keep going?

Yeah...ouch...

So...today Lord, forgive me for the cover-up act I try to do. Forgive me for expecting you to clean up the mess that I put myself into. I know you are the Savior Lord and I trust in you one hundred percent, but Lord help me to live according to your Word, within the realm of your will, not one step outside of it in the MESS! And Lord, even though I know you offer forgiveness, let me think before I act, before I speak, before I move!

My dad...

2011-06-19T23:41:00.001-05:00

So...it's Father's Day...and I spent the day with my sisters and my mom at the place I grew up...

and...

I kept thinking about the legacy my dad left...

So...

here it is....

my gratitude to my dad for teaching me to:

be fiercely proud of my country...

be organized...

be ready to see the needs of my community...

be prepared....

have a place to escape to for prayer...

give to those I may never meet here on Earth...

and most importantly...to accept Jesus as my Savior...

What a legacy....

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

"In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."

Psalm 5:3

I thank you oh Lord, my God, for my earthly father. I thank you for the assurance I have in your Word in knowing he is with you today. I thank you for the strong influence he was on my life....for drawing me to you. Even through the grief, I Praise you Lord! Praise you Lord! Praise you Lord!

"AAAMA!"

2011-06-10T22:47:00.001-05:00

"Aaama!"

I love those words.

"Aaama."

It is Lucy calling out my name, in her words, trying to say, "Mama!"

She can't say consonants very well yet, but she has picked up on the gist of it.

"Aaama!"
She calls my name when she wants more milk.
"Aaama!"
Or when she is looking for me in the house.
"Aaama!"

Or when she has found a new diaper and wants to be changed.
"Aaama!"

Or when she has shut the kitchen door or kitchen cupboard without help.
"Aaama!"

Or when she has cleaned up all her toys and put them back into the basket.
"Aaama!"

I get tears in my eyes as I write this and think about how far this girl has come.

Abandoned on a beach.
Left to fend for herself in two orphanages.
Almost died from parasitic infection and malnourishment.
Described to others as a child who was "abnormal, would never walk, would never talk".

And, now, here she is in my living room, sleeping next to me peacefully.

From abandoned to adored.
From neglected to nourished.
From mistreated to marvelous.
From orphaned to overjoyed.
From speechless to screaming "AAAMA!"

“And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters,

says the Lord Almighty.”

2 Corinthians 6:18

You see, you have someone who wants you to call him by name. He wants to be your father. When you need more milk, when you are proud of your accomplishments, when you don't know how to proceed...God wants you to call out to Him.

"Lord...what do I do?"
"Lord...I don't understand!"
"Lord...I am scared."
"Lord...I need help!"
"Lord...I love you!"

“He shall cry to Me, ‘You are my Father, My God, and the rock of my salvation.”
Psalm 89:26

Today, my sisters...if you have not yet...

today...let God our father, through the blood of His son, Jesus, on the cross, take you from....

From abandoned to adored.

From neglected to nourished.
From mistreated to marvelous.
From orphaned to overjoyed.
From speechless to screaming "MY LORD, MY SAVIOR!"

Today...

7 days...

2011-06-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

Wow...my last post was seven days ago. Time flies!

I am the crazy busy mother of five! It is weird to even put that in writing...five children. From thinking about a future high school graduation to potty training...it's no wonder my husband is getting salt and pepper gray hair!

Well, it seems words for the blog have been difficult to come by. Not that aren't stories to tell...not that there aren't verses to share...not that there isn't laughter among the grief...

It's just...well...lately the words haven't been coming...

...maybe it is because I am spending more time sweeping, doing laundry, playing peek-a-boo, etc....

...maybe it is because despite being the happiest week of our lives in bringing little Lucy home, it was also one of the most devastating in saying an Earthly goodbye to my father...

...maybe it is because when death hits your family you tend to re-evaluate...what is life about? what is the meaning? why are we here?

...maybe it is because once you start to truly follow God and "step up", there is little time for much else, including writing about it...

I don't know...but I do know that my head and my heart have been stuck on one verse for the past seven days...

HE MUST BECOME GREATER. I MUST BECOME LESS.

John 3:30

Step up my dear sisters.

Life might get crazy.

The laundry might pile up.

There might not be words to describe it.

But...STEP UP...and let God handle the consequences!

Mama Said There Would Be Days Like These

2011-06-01T23:36:00.000-05:00

I woke up today and could just feel the heaviness. I could just taste the bitterness. Smell the sourness.

I think it may have been grief settling in, but also it was this feeling of just being utterly and completely overwhelmed.

The laundry seems to never end.
The dishwasher always needs emptied.
My bare feet feel the crumbs on the kitchen floor even after I sweep.
There are ants in the upstairs bathroom.
Our chalkboard calendar takes up an entire wall in the kitchen and still overflows.
And Lucy won't poop!

Overwhelmed, over-scheduled, overworked?
Exhausted, grieving, discouraged?

NOT TODAY SATAN!

You see...today...I went to my Lord and Savior.
Today, I stopped in my tracks, grabbed my Bible and dialed in some prayers.
Today, I could feel my friends, and those I don't even know, praying for us.

Today...today...came Psalm 18:1

"I LOVE YOU OH LORD MY STRENGTH!"

And today...what started out as heaviness...turned into a lightened load by friends offering a meal!
                     what started out as bitterness...turned into bravo over a little girl going potty on a potty chair!
                       what started out as sourness...turned into sweet success at a little league game!

Today...the grief became gratitude over the Christ-centered life and legacy left by my earthly father!
                    the overwhelmed became overjoyed.
                      the over-scheduled became tears at a true evaluation by a physical therapist.
                        the over-worked became a new relationship with a Christian couple in town.

Today...exhausted, grieving, discouraged became REDEEMED THROUGH CHRIST!

Thank you all for the prayers. Thank you for the meals. Thank you for the support.

"I love you Oh Lord, my strength!"

Jen

Fix your eyes on Jesus

2011-05-31T10:22:00.001-05:00

I sit in the chair and the eye doctor says, "Look at the letters I am going to show you. Tell me which one is more clear. Ready?"

"Ok - 1 or 2?"

I look at the letters and quite honestly, neither looks more clear.

"uhhh....2?" I say half believing myself.

"Ok - let's try again. Ready?"

"1 or 2?"

Hmm...still not much difference.

"1? Maybe? No, wait, 2?"

I was thinking that our life decisions are like this sometimes. It just doesn't seem clear. The answer is blurred.

Do I start the Bible study with my neighbor who really sortof bugs me?

Do I send my child to Christian school or public school?

Do I keep working?

How hard to I discipline my child?

Is adoption right for us?

Where do I send my tithe? Is it ok to send it to a person and not an official church?

Hmmm....1 or 2?

Blurry. Not sure.

"FIX YOUR EYES ON JESUS."

Hebrews 3 reminds us where we ought to go for the answers.

My family recently experienced the earthly death of our dad. He was a wise, wise man. He studied God's word and prayed daily, if not continually. He wrote notes, meditated, and shared with us all.

I was trying to decide whether or not to go to Africa. My heart was grieving. My body was exhausted. I didn't know if I could do it. The trip is so trying. It is difficult. It was going to take lots of energy and enthusiasm.

I just couldn't decide what to do. I felt my children needed me at home. I wanted to surround myself with my husband, my sisters, my brother, my mom, my aunt as I grieved the death of my father, our spiritual and earlthy mentor.

But, in walked my little sis. She had a sheet of paper that held the distinctive writing of my dad.

"HOW TO MAKE A DECISION."

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Is it in line with the Word of God?

2. Is it line with what God has been doing in your life both right now and for your future?

3. Would you feel comfortable with the decision based on what the Bible says?

"FIX YOUR EYES ON JESUS"

The decision was made.

The flights were taken.

The team was gathered.

The visa was secured.

The little girl who my dad sponsored for months,

whom he prayed for continually,

was brought to the playhouse he had built....

Words to describe?

2011-05-24T17:10:00.000-05:00

I know...I am a blogger...I am supposed to have words...words to describe events...words to describe emotions...words to describe God's love...but how do you describe going from this:

to this:

We welcomed her home to Pella! Six month visa! Medical treatment. A new home. New sister. New brothers. New life.

As we left the orphanage the children and caregivers cried. They grieved losing little Lucy. Her name means light and that is what she brings. Light in the darkness. Light in her surroundings. And now, today, light to the nations!

She is transitioning so well. God is helping us. He is giving us courage. He is giving us strength. He is helping us realize that this life has so little to do with us!

John 3:30 says, "He must become greater I must become less!"

She is showing us that first hand.

There are so many stories to share.

Stories of watching my dad take his last breath on earth, his face glowing as his family called on the name of Jesus our savior to simply take him home.

Stories of being told that we would be denied the visa, that it was a waste of time.

Stories of my husband's obedience to God's voice in saying, OUR GOD IS GREATER!

Stories of being told we would only get three months and arriving to a one year visa!

Stories of Lucy crying on the plane and a man handing me a $100 bill to help the discouragement.

Just like my dad used to do!

Stories of meeting a team of missionaries who prayed over us in the airport in Ghana.

Stories of getting to meet Sam's family. Bibles open. Prayers and praise floating from our mouths.

Stories of babies dying, mothers without children, and fathers lifting up others in prayer for their next meal.

Stories of deboarding a plane, reboarding a plane, breezing through customs, and seeing God's hand in it all.

Stories of the love and support, of a crib and house full of gifts and meals and prayers and love.

And stories of college students and a mother who left Iowa with fear and trepidation and returned with hearts pierced for the people an ocean away.

Stories...stories that I must find the words for. Stories that I pray God allows me to tell over and over again.

Stories of LIGHT!

"For God so loved the world..."

Let the stories begin....

Love, Jen

Parenting Woes...

2011-05-02T14:25:00.001-05:00

Parenting is tough!

I know, I know... there are more difficult things! Soldiers are fighting for us. People are battling illness.

But let me just share my heart today about parenting.

You see...it isn't all fun and games. It's not just popsicles and merry-go-rounds. It's not just birthday cake and graduation parties.

It's tough decisions.
It's prayerful consideration.
It's saying "NO!" when in your heart you just want to say, "YES!"

It's telling your own flesh and blood that they can not have a puppy or pony or third piece of candy.
It's telling your adopted child that they can not play basketball until grades are improved.
It's waiting up at night, wondering if everything is ok.
Sending them off with the world and praying that they make Godly decisions.
It's praying they don't do what you did as a kid!!!

Parenting is knowing that even though they are going to get mad at you, that they are going to want to run from you, that they are going to pout and maybe scream and even cry....you still have to be tough on them.
    You still have to say no.
         You still can't give in and give them what they think is best for them.

It is knowing you see the long term when they see today.
     It is knowing you see the end result when they see this minute.
          It is knowing that you have been there, you have experienced it, and you know the best route to   success, to freedom, to redemption...

Hmmm.....GOD IS OUR FATHER.

We see the now.
He sees the end.

We feel the pain.
He feels the result.

We cry out.
He remains firm.

We pout and stomp and can't understand why He says no.
He won't budge.

We want the immediate pleasure...the here and now...
He wants our faith.

We want to do things our way.
He wants redemption.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth!"

Isaiah 40:28

We are the child.

He is the father.

Father knows best!

Wing to wing.

2011-04-28T21:27:00.000-05:00

Today, like many other days, I left my house and drove a block down the road to the small drive-through coffee shop. I love that place. Good coffee. Smiling faces. Drive through!

As I left and turned the corner to go down the alley, I noticed two chubby gray birds sitting side by side on the cement, smack in the middle of the alley. They were cuddled next to each other. Just sitting. Still as could be.

As I drove closer, I was sure they would fly away but they didn't. They just sat, huddled alongside one another. No movement. No fluttering. No flying away.

I began to wonder if maybe one of the birds was hurt. I couldn't see any physical ailment, but my mind wondered, questioning why the birds weren't flying off.

I drove my car to the very side of the alley, just missing the birds as I passed by. When I reached the end of the alley, I paused before going on to work to turn and see that the two birds still sat together, not moving.

Have you ever read the story in Exodus chapter 17?

It reminds me of these birds.

Joshua is fighting the army of Amalek and every time Moses keeps his arms up the Israelites win. But when he lowers his arms, they begin to lose. But you see, Moses gets tired.

Can you blame him? Try it...hold your arms up...how long can you stand there like that?

But...along come his friends...Aaron & Hur come along side him and help. They don't leave his side! They bring him a stone to sit on and help hold his arms up until the battle is won!

I don't know why, but the birds weren't leaving each other today.

They were sitting wing to wing, beak to beak and not moving!

In life, we sometimes have friends like that. Family members.

When the tough times come, when the celebrations occur...they are there.

Wing to wing. Beak to beak.

But you know what, there is someone else like that.

GOD!

He will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)

He is always faithful. (1 Corinthians 1:9)

God is with us forever...wing to wing. Beak to beak.

PRAISE BE TO GOD!

When I am weak...

2011-04-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

I opened the letter and the tears began to flow. Drip. Drip. Drip. Down my cheeks. Landing on the paper in front of me.

It had been a long weekend.

My dad is battling lung cancer. He is not well. Prognosis is not good. Our faith in the Lord Jesus is still the same, but when you look at the eyes of your father and see illness, it would be a lie to say that we haven't been shaken.

When a family faces terminal illness, emotions run amuck. (is that even a word?) Anyway, emotions are all over the place. There is sadness over the reality of death. There is joy over the coming together of family to fight for a life. There is empathy over a sister whose husband is also deployed to Iraq during this time. There is hope in our faith in God's healing power. There is confusion over terms like chemotherapy and fluids and hospice. And, yes, even in a strong Christian family, there is fear over the unknown.

So, as I opened the envelope and read letter, the tears came. It was just one more thing on a pile of issues lately. Just one more item to deal with. One more glitch. One more thorn.

"Lord I CAN NOT TAKE ANY MORE!"

"Lord- WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Lord, give us a break! Seriously! For the Love! I know you see this! I know you realize how much is on our plate right now! I know you see me praying and crying out to you in the dark of the night after the kids are fast asleep, sheltering them from my emotions. I KNOW YOU KNOW GOD! JUST PUT A STOP TO IT ALL!"

It's real life. It's raw. It's tough.

And guess what? It's Biblical!

David cried out to God.
Moses cried out to God.
Naomi cried out to God.

JESUS cried out to God!

And in that moment, in that instance of despair, in that feeling of helplessness, in that second of uncertainty...God answered...

"My grace is sufficient Jen."
"I am here."
"I do see you."
"You can go on. I am before you."
"Stand up. Hold firm. Lean on me!"

And then, in an email from my sister this week, He answered again...

When I Am Weak, He Is Strong
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Finding strength in Christ alone,
Jen

Bug-a-Boo

2011-04-22T00:07:00.001-05:00

On Sunday, our second born, Luke, will turn 10! A decade old! Wow! I am thinking about Luke and wanting to share some life lessons I have learned from being his mom for the past ten years.

1. Dive in without regret!

Luke has always gone full force, 100% of the time. No holds bar....no regrets! He is full of energy, full of fire and full of spunk. He comes at you with full force running. He teaches me to just dive in, give it all, don't hold back.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..."

Colossians 3:23

2. After you puke, just keep on going. 

When he was a baby, Luke's nickname was "Lukey Pukey". The kid would down a bottle, look up at me with those big brown eyes, smile, and then puke all over. After puking, he would want down and be on the go again. Luke still uses this pattern today. On the way home from Africa, he got sick enroute from London to Chicago. By the time they arrived in Chicago he was running down the airport hallway to the nearest bathroom to puke again. Doug tells the story that he comes out of the bathroom, looks at Doug and says, "Can I have Pizza Hut?"

"Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up. But when trouble strikes the wicked, that's the end of them."

Proverbs 24:16

3. In the morning, when you wake up, lay on the people you love.

Alright, this one doesn't happen as much as it used to, but when Luke was younger he used to wake up in the morning, come straight to my side of the bed, crawl under the covers, and lay flat on my body. Full body contact. Head to my chest. Toes to my toes. I loved those moments. It reminded me how blessed I was to have a little boy who wanted to cuddle. It brought me warmth in the morning. It made me sweat, but allowed me to smell his little boy hair and touch his rough little boy fingers. It reminded me that I am loved.

"My dear friends, we must love each other. Love comes from God, and when we love each other, it shows that we have been given new life. We are now God's children, and we know him."

1 John 4:7

4. Get mad!

I remember a time at my hometown pool. We were back on vacation. Kids were swimming. An old friend who used to babysit for us stopped by our area to chat. He asked where my kids were and I pointed out Kobe in the big pool and Faith in the baby pool. My friend looked behind me at Luke standing in the corner pouting and said, "Oh man...he has to be yours! You used to do the same thing when you were little!" Luke gets mad! He shows his emotions. He will stomp up the steps and slam the door. He will shout at his sister from the top of his lungs. He will throw a ball or throw over a chair. Of course the Bible teaches us to be "slow to anger". Verses are evident to support our need to control our temper. But, having the anger in us can show passion. It can foster persistence. It can build a desire to fight. Sometimes getting mad is exactly what a person needs to do to push them into action. Sometimes it is what we need to remind us to fight. Getting mad and channeling that passion for the Lord...now that could be a winning combination.

He is ten years old. He is full of spunk. He gives his all. He showers me with love. He has been to Africa to serve orphans! Oh my...what will the next ten years bring? What is God's wonderful plan for our little bug-a-boo? Thank you Jesus for giving me the front row seat!

LOVE YOU LUKE!

Spring

2011-04-19T16:50:00.000-05:00

It is April in Iowa. The tulips in our town are popping through the ground, the trees are budding, and the birds have started to wake me in the morning with their chirping. (Ok...really my kids wake me in the morning, but the birds are chirping after Luke and Faith pile on me!)

But it has been cold. Today, as a matter of fact, parts of Iowa got snow! SNOW! In April! Yikes! Nobody likes that. Nobody wants 40 degree weather when we are ready for 70 degrees. Nobody wants to wear mittens and hats when we are ready for capris and flip-flops!

So, there have been grumblings. The students are grumbling. The kids are grumbling. The check out ladies are grumbling. We are grumbling.

"Uhh...this weather!"
"When is it going to get nice out?"
"How much more winter do we have to put up with?"
"I am sooo ready for the sun!"

Grumbling.

You see, this isn't expected. We expect April to bring rain and even thunderstorms, but not cold weather and snow! So, this, this 40 degree stuff is just not expected. It is out of the ordinary. It is different. It is not within our range of comfort or understanding for April.

And...I would say...although I might get pummeled by those who know me in town...GOD HATES OUR GRUMBLING!

He tells us in His word to be thankful for all circumstances. He tells us to praise His name, no matter what we go through. He tells us that He is faithful and His plan is perfect. He tells us that His ways are not our ways! So, in the midst of it all, the last thing we should do is GRUMBLE!

Isn't that what happened to the Israelites? They got off track? They were taken out of their comfort zone? They were presented with something they weren't used to? And they grumbled!

"In the desert the whole community grumbled against Aaron and Moses."

Exodus 16:2

And you see, Moses and Aaron deflect it and respond by saying,

"You are not grumbling against us, but against the Lord!"

Exodus 16:8b

And guess what? God hears. God acts. God does something to stop the grumbling. But the kicker is, He doesn't necessarily do it because of the grumbling, or even because He wants to bring comfort to His people. Rather He does it for one very specific reason....

"Then you will know that I am the Lord your God!"

Exodus 16:12b

HE WANTS US TO KNOW HE IS GOD!

He always has been. He is today. He always will be.

Despite our circumstances. Despite our discontent. Despite our lack of faithfulness.

God is God! He just is.

So, continue to grumble?

Not me... instead... I will choose to be thankful...to honor Him....to trust Him...to believe Him...

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Medical visa

2011-04-09T08:46:00.000-05:00

This is from our skype session with Lucy today. We are teaching her how to touch her head, touch her eyes etc. She is progressing so well, although there is so much more to be done! I just know she could accomplish talking and running and so much more if she was in the U.S.

So...on May 18th while I am in Sierra Leone, I will petition the U.S. government to allow us to bring her here on a medical visa.

This is a difficult task. The government wants to ensure that our intent is in fact to bring Lucy back to Sierra Leone.

Doug and I have come to that point. We have always loved her like our own biological children. We have always said we would do whatever it takes to SAVE ONE. This task embodies that concept!

We have to be willing to bring her here, to love on her, to sacrifice our own wants and needs, and to take her back at the end of her treatment.

Freely relinquish her.

Make the choice to bring her, knowing we will have to return her at some point...

Not because we don't have a choice, not because it is out of our control, but freely give her...

I was thinking, isn't that sortof what God did for us?
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son..."

He relinquished him to us.

He gave him up so that we could have life.

He gave freely.

We too will give freely when the time comes. We too love her enough to know that even a small time with her will help her. We know that although it will be heart wrenching to do so, we love her enough that we will set aside our own desires and wishes and give her back.

God did it. We will do it.

With the prayer of knowing, Jesus now sits back with His father...

Jen

Please pray for God's will to be done in this process.

More from Africa...

2011-03-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

More pictures!

2011-03-21T07:05:00.000-05:00

Showing the kids the battery operated fan!

Luke and little Hanna...they play together every day. She is one of the teen mom's children.

Luke at the guest house

Baseketball notes

Basketball notes

At the National Soccer Stadium where they did the bball clinic

Lakin and Shelby at the center with the kids

PICTURES OF LUKE AT THE BBALL CLINIC!

2011-03-20T15:50:00.000-05:00

Vashti

2011-03-19T07:25:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this morning I have been reading in the Book of Esther. The story in chapter one is about King Xerxes and this lavish party he had. He put on a full-fledged BASH. He had all sorts of food, drink and entertainment. It says he brought in gold and silver couches, told the men to drink all they wanted, and the party lasted for 180 days!!!

B-A-S-H!!!!

So, here is where it gets good. In verse 10, after seven days of feasting (and drinking), this King decides he and his men need some eye-candy! You see the men partied in a different spot than the women. King Xerxes had his little gig going on and at the same time, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the wome in the royal palace, (v.9) separate from the men.

Well, like I said, by day seven, (and lots of wine) the men were craving a little of the women!! And King Xerxes, who thought his wife was beautiful, and also was in "high spirits" (v. 10) wanted to share her beauty with all the men.

So he calls for Queen Vashti.
"He told the seven eunuchs who attended him to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head." (v. 11)

And this is the kicker....SHE SAYS NO!

Can you just envision this my sisters? Your husband is drunk. He is surrounded by his drunk friends. And all the sudden he is pulling out the "You are my wife...come to me and give us a good look card!"

Yeah right... I am with Vashti..."NO WAY!"

So, then...just like can often happen in our marriages...this turns into a BIG deal. SHE REFUSED HIM! SHE SAID NO! SHE WAS NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROUTE!

So King Xerxes, instead of going to his wife, and actually communicating with her, instead he decides to consult with his advisers (v. 13). It lists them as "wise advisers" but I am not so sure.

His "wise advisers" don't tell him to go talk to his wife. They don't stop him right there and say, "Hey man, maybe you should go see why she doesn't wanna come over here." Nope...instead they leap to conclusions. They say that if this gets around that his wife has disobeyed him, EVERY WOMAN will do that with her husband too. EXAGGERATION!

"Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king." (v. 17)

So..it is easy for us to blame the men here ladies. It is easy to look at the King's actions, and his adviser's lack of wisdom, but haven't we been there? Haven't we had an issue in our own marriages and instead of going to our husband or going to our LORD, we take advice from friends?

And the advice comes wrapped in fear and doubt and exaggeration!

"Well, Jen...you can't let that go on...my goodness, Faith will see it, your students will see it...everything will crash down!"

"Jen...that is just wrong the way he acted...you have to do something!"

"Jen...can you believe he/she said that? Did that? OMG!"

Yes...OMG...my friends...OMG...where King Xerxes should have been looking was to our GOD!
He should have been communicating with his wife, not his "wise" men!
He should have been going to his Lord instead!

And we should too! It is tempting to go to friends, even Godly "wise" friends for advice in our marriages, in our lives...but quite honestly, the Bible is pretty clear that we should be bringing ALL of our daily trials and coversations to GOD!

"I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Psalm 121-1-2